Yes, it is.
There is no Relationship that is happy or that would last without trust.
Maybe is a new Love and everything is Cloud 9, all smiles and those butterflies in the stomach, but as soon as the trust hits you… You analyze whether that person is trustworthy or not.
I have lived in several places with different cultures and let me tell you some are really very different from what I have grown up with.
Heck, the world has changed! I think for the worse on this subject.
I noticed that nowadays people don’t commit. Humans decided that other humans are disposable.
The easiness on how you can find ” One night stands” through App and the internet, made people thinking about themselves and disposing when they don’t want anymore or when the fun stopped or even when they start looking towards another person.
There is no commitment between people. The word “No” made people either abuse or simply turn their backs and go to another experience easily without thinking if they hurt feelings or.
Don’t get me wrong: No, means No and I like my NO very much. Which leads me to the below.
Love is Materialistic and Selfish
My mother always told me that “love and a cabin” is not true. Meaning that you can love very much someone but if you don’t have money, things will become very bad in a relationship. Which always made me want my career first, having a love and having money to spend on what we want. What I’ve learned is that Love, doesn’t need to be materialistic or selfish.
Love can be in the little things, such as a flower from the garden, or a little love you note or even preparing your loved one the lunch for next day.
“My Love” cannot be bought with jewellery or new phones, my love can be bought with cuddles, a written poem, a meaningful song, or a very long in-tongue kiss (yes I went there, and its the best!).
I cannot understand how some people I know, are living with someone they don’t love because of “I like the house and I can’t pay the rent alone, so I need him/her”, or how people sleep in their sofas because she/him arrived at 5 am drunk and the next day they sleep around with a “stranger” to show her/him that they can find another person in a flash.
What happens after this is that they continue to undermine each other’s feelings, creating wrong thoughts and feelings, jealousy and arguing. Jealousy is the point break in a relationship. If you are so jealous of your partner, then you don’t trust him. And here we go.
Let me tell you: It won’t get better, only worse and that’s why so many couples start beating each other. It’s wrong for you and it’s wrong for them!
When you trust someone fully then you are a well-established couple. You trust and are trusted. You have grown up and have self-love and know your worth. Attention: Don’t mistake this with being in a relationship that you don’t need to add anything to it.
Don’t accommodate in a relationship! Feed the relationship with love! Forever and ever.
Make simple and meaningful things, like giving a look to see if everything is ok, a wink, a smile, creating a personal gesture that has a meaning, those things will make it alive. It’s those little gestures and showing your love that will bring you love as well. Give to receive and be happy in a relationship like that.
Sharing is Caring
I believe this with all my core. For the good and for the bad.
Our partner is our best friend. If you cannot count with him, well he is not your best friend, therefore what are you doing?!
Sharing is for the good and the bad, the ugly and the wonderful. Sharing is having a problem and sitting down with your partner and say: “Listen, I have these feelings and I need to tell you this because I need help sorting this out”. The person in front of you will show you and let you know if they trust you or judge you. Even if it was really bad, that person will probably be a little receptive but love does really surpass everything. Time helps in that case.
Either if it’s a money problem (News Flash people: real couples share money or at least ask the other if they need anything in that subject), or if you have a health problem or even if you have a spinach stuck in your teeth…
Real love is caring… Even if the share here is sharing laughter for the funny cliché spinach in the teeth!
Modifying the World with no Judgment
It starts with us.
The last century, the 1900’s was a century where we, as humans, learned freedom. We went from being in a world full of Wars, to helping and rise other cultures and minorities, to being crazy in the 60’s, to having the most amazing inventions and fast forward tech and health advances.
People learned freedom in different ways. And to be honest, in some parts of the world still they haven’t freedom (by cultural, political or even religious reasons), but near us, some people don’t have the freedom because they don’t have self-love.
But as it always happens, with too much freedom and people losing common sense, anarchy got the better, and our “hard deserved” freedom distance us from others. Leading to no effort towards the other person and no positive and constructive opinions.
People now don’t tolerate! They don’t fight for love or make an effort in a relationship.
That is not Self-love is selfishness.
People simply don’t care about you or your opinion, they are more and more selfish. And this is where we are now in the World of relationships and towards everything.
We need to change this. And it begins with your self-love for us and applying to others.
Basic rule in Love: Trust you first. Your instincts and open the door for someone to love you.
Meditate, take a time to close your eyes and think all the possibilities. Is it hurting you? Don’t you trust the person? Have you made all the efforts and were they returned? Because being reciprocal is the essence in a relationship. Give and take remember?
Giving love means receiving it as well, that is a relationship. If you tried everything and nothing worked, then it’s time to move on.
Don’t stay in a relationship where you have fought for it, but the other person is selfish (maybe they have their reasons from the past and they need to learn first to deal with them).
Fight for your love for a period of time, actually set a time, but not years. Because we are not young forever and we need Love!
If after that time you feel negative and not happy, then is better to stay apart and maybe in the future you will be friends. Better friends than staying with only the bad memories and negativity towards that person.
No one can move in their life with the baggage of negativity. Learn to forgive and that stay in the past. Move toward the rainbow and be happy.
One of my motto in life, and to end this post is: Whatever it’s for you, whatever is reserved for you, it will come towards your way.
You can chase something, but if it’s not for you, not on your destiny, then even if you get it, you won’t retain it.
Let it go. Let the negativity go, breath and have your grief period, then like a phoenix, come out of it and shine.