Either in a lovers relationship or a very old friendship, what happens after so many memories were made and how do we cope after it ends?
Because sometimes in life, things end sooner than we think. How do we carry on and how do we feel?
Here are some things I have learned in my life.
Set it Free
Life is all about setting us free. Some are harder than others, some are more easy but easy won’t make you make memories and remember that special ‘lesson”.
Nowadays, and with people starting to speak their minds; letting know our feelings or what actually happens with us, won’t make us weaker.
If you feel that not letting people know what you feel is a weakness, then sorry to tell you, but you are wrong! And because the world pre-made an “imposed rule” that our feelings are something to be ashamed of; our mentality is moulded to this society, which is deteriorating and people, unfortunately, started to collapse.
Mental illness flourish, depressions, anxiety that goes towards suicide, are in the news every single day. So something is wrong isn’t it?
Set free what you feel. Tell the truth. Even if the truth will hurt one or both parts, tell the truth. Because Truth will set you Free.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE!
Life brings you lessons. If you don’t think it does, then you are not having the school of life. Lessons, either bad or good, are things we should keep in a corner of our mind for a “rainy day”. A lesson is when something has marked your character and you have learned something.
As everything in this life, the percentage of something happening to you in the exact way of that “lesson”, well… let’s say chances are 99% sure it will happen again. And when that happens… You’re ready for that.
And in that moment you understand that you have learned that lesson!
Let it Go
Somethings are worth to fight. But some things are not. Either in love or in friendship.
When a relationship doesn’t work, when all was done to make it work, when one part is making the effort and the other is not – It’s time to end it.
Walk away. Don’t linger in feelings that are not the same as it were in the past. Everyone has a time and space, and everyone is entitled to their opinion and privacy when dealing when something.
Some people prefer to be straight up front and say: “we need to talk. I just don’t feel I am happy”… or “I just don’t think we are the same” or even “I just don’t think we have the same prospects of future, and I noticed we aren’t the same”. These type of people are called Frontal people. They aren’t blunt. They aren’t just cynical. Normally the connection with this people will be rekindled after some years.
Another type of people, is those that prefer to just disconnect and let go. They observe, shut up (sometimes they do try and talk about it, but when they see is not worth it, they stop talking) and go. Normally people call them “fake”, I call them – The ones that never came back. They tried, they stopped believing and they will go quietly; and with these guys, you will get the lesson of your life and you will miss them. These are just 2 types of the many types of people out there.
Learn to let it go. Life is to short to be lingering in something that is not going to develop into the love of your life or a friendship that got cold, because life goes different ways. And sometimes is just like that. No one’s fault, only the world changing and we grow up.
The space I am talking about is not that kind of space to rekindle or rebound in a month. Give proper space, for you and your thoughts, for them and their thoughts.
From months to years, just have your own space and let them be.
I have a motto in life, since I can remember, that: Anything that is for you, will come to you.
If you force something, it won’t be natural, and it can actually make a very ugly turn. You’re grieving and suffering? It’s a lesson. Seems harsh doesn’t it? But you will get over it, even if it takes a while, but you will.
It’s our nature as humans to survive, and you will, they will, the sky will be blue again. Just give and claim your space, your sanctuary of sanity.
Grieve, cry, scream, whatever that will make you detox feeling, memories or situations. You will get there, and you will grow.
Because there are at least 7.6 Billion of people in this world, and ALL of them, richer or poorer, will have the exact same feeling: Love, friendship, smile, laugh, cry, scream, hate, shame, heartbroken, pain, etc. We are humans and our life is a Trial-Error one. That is why is so important to learn the lessons I spoke before.
Why? Well… If you didn’t learn your lesson, then you are exactly asking “why me?“.
Also because I believe, heck, I live in a life that Karm rules. When you learn your lessons and understand karma (not religious connected, here on Alejandra’s we are true believers of Love and Free minds), you will see that your/their actions have consequences and depending on what you/they do/did, it will send you a lesson either sooner than you think, or when they are least expected. Again Lessons.
We are humans. We are not 100% good or bad. We make the angels and devils in our shoulders. It’s called Thoughts and common sense.
A path is drawn by you, your destiny will lead you to it, but our destiny is also made by us.
What now? Solutions, please!
Your love life ended? Give it space. Don’t create false hopes on each side. It’s wrong and will make people to fall off and never become friends again. Will lead to hatred and that is bad.
Your friend stopped to talk to you? Well, it can happen. Life gives a lot of turns and maybe the time of that friendship reached the final line.
When you wake up in the morning asking: “What happens now?”, breathe and think that are at least billions out there for you to trust, there are people that love you and will always have your back.
Life doesn’t end when a lover leaves you; when you break someone’s heart, your friend from 25 years don’t speak to you anymore, a friend moves to the other side of the globe. People change and grow. Pick up the phone and call them, pick up your keys and meet them. Socialize, live life!
You are what you make out of you. Your memories will always be there. Just make sure you keep the good ones in a happy place near your heart. The “bad” ones are called experience in life – For me, I simply call them Lessons.
Be Happy! Be Better.