by Alejandra | Jun 19, 2021 | Relationships
These 2 years – 2020 and 2021 – have been quite different.
Technology was already in our lives, for these past generations being “online” is something normal and they don’t remember how life was before that, but whilst companies realized that working remotely is something that can happen, and shopping online is a bigger reality nowadays in many countries, what about relationships? How are people dealing with relationships in 2021?
Many use apps and websites for meeting new people, others had to be apart either in the world (because of work) or because one was sick with Covid, or because of curfews couldn’t meet up. For many, virtually became the best tool. But is that the best way to have a Cool Summer of 2021? Is this what we can still expect this year and the next one? Yes because for many in the world, curfews, banned travels, and new waves are still on.
Here is what we have learned:
Apps for Meeting
Whilst many of us are still old school, 75% of people in the world said that they have met their husband, boy/girlfriend, or flings on apps for dating. The swipe right and left is a joke that the majority of people know for now, even if they don’t use the apps.
Apps have the positive side that meeting people with the same characteristics as you and matching is a quick way, the negative sides are many: Pictures that are not updated, people can lie in their profiles and other hazards of meeting strange people. Did we mention that people lie in their profiles? Try to have fun, but be careful.
Social Media
Social media, or sliding into someone’s Dm’s, is also something people are doing. Many use social media to engage and get something more out of it. Not everything needs to be about deep relationships, sometimes friendships can happen. Still you should always be careful what data and details you should share online. And also remember that everything in social media is shared and never erased… even if you erase it from your profile, social media companies are very open regarding how files are kept.
When you have a partner… Spice Play it up
Either you have a partner or alone, why not think about playing it up. And yes, it’s exactly that word we want to say.
In 2021, everyone knows about the existence of toys and games for the boudoir. We are all adults here, so we know what we are talking and also there is no taboo on talking about it. Bring the toys to the “yard” and role-play with your partner or alone, many of the toys are now silent and even rechargeable, like Cuddly Bird from Biird, it is so discreet that it can be doubled down as a lamp.
Post-it
Never thought about post-its in the age of texts? How would you like to get home, after a “super strong message” from your partner and as once you open the door the post-its start, with a scavenger hunt done by orders or messages till you reach the destination with a very nice treasure at the end? Anything can happen and anything is permitted as long as it’s original and fun for both sides.
Ice Cold or Hot
Depending on where you are reading this and the season, make it cold or hot, you choose. Ice cubes have always been fun during the summer, but for many of you readers, our summer is actually your winter, so why not warm up some nice scented oil and give a nice massage to that special person to warm him up? Pun intended…
Either way, make sure the environment is chilled out and even a cool musical background is playing. This effort will make the greatest of memories. If you use scents, nothing like Cinnamon or Lemongrass with Mint. We have a thing for Lemongrass.
How to play it virtually
Many connected with someone during these years virtually and for many reasons, the relationships built but never actually had the possibility to get together. That is actually more common than you think. And who knows… maybe is the real thing and will be a real deal sooner than you think. In that case, virtually can happen for both. So why not use tech and have fun? With or without toys, sometimes we need to think outside our comfort zone.
Relationships are not hard. Connecting is not hard. We simply need to figure out the ways and reach into a positive mind to keep everything around us positive.
by Alejandra | May 14, 2021 | Health, Relationships
Physiotherapy, talking therapy, counseling, whatever you want to call it- therapy is important. It is designed to help people through some of the most trying times of their lives and help them to create a life for themselves that means they can live a happier and more fulfilled- not dragged down by the issues of their past or present struggles.
Going to therapy has been a taboo subject in the past–nobody wanted to talk about it, but possibly needed it. However, having a qualified person who isn’t a friend or close relative can be one of the best things you can do for your physical and mental health.
If you’ve been trying to find reasons to finally start going to a therapist, here are some of them.
It can help you dislodge hidden and forgotten memories
Seeing a therapist is like water bore drilling your psyche. For those who don’t know what water bore drilling is, it is taking a large drill on the surface level in order to be able to investigate what is going on underneath the surface. Without the drill, people can only predict what is hidden beneath, but using the drill enables them to fully investigate.
Like water bore drilling, therapy should only be done by somebody who knows what they’re doing. The human mind can be complex, and it has brilliant ways of hiding some of the traumatic things in our life that we can often forget about, but influence our behaviors in many different ways. Seeing a therapist and having them ask you the right questions will help you to discover some of these traumas, as well as giving you the tools to help to deal with them.
They can help you to deal with daily struggles
Lots of things in life can be put down to being ‘a symptom of the times’. And while it is most uncommon for anybody to feel perky all of the time, there are emotions and struggles that can play a part in interfering with your day-to-day life. Examples of these are; feeling overwhelmed, fatigued no matter how much sleep you got, struggling with insomnia, rage, anger, or resentment towards others for no good reason, apathy, and social withdrawal.
Going to therapy can help you to understand the reasons why you are feeling such a way and to help you to manage your emotions in a healthier way.
Therapy can help to heal relationships
Whether you’re single, married, or in a long-term, or complicated relationship, getting therapy can help you to address some of the difficulties you may have in relating to others. Most commonly, difficulty trusting or feeling secure in relationships is one of the reasons they come to an end. If you have a track record of this, it may be time to see a therapist to help you to prevent this from ruining your future relationships with others.
It doesn’t only have to be romantic relationships either–if you have some challenging relationships with family members or have problems making friends, it is time for you to attend some therapy sessions so you get the socialization and relationships that you crave.
by Alejandra | May 12, 2021 | Relationships
Gaming is more popular than ever, and it won’t be long before your kids start pestering you to buy them the latest console. Some parents are against video games because they think that it’s a distraction and a waste of time, but that’s not the case. Video games can be a great way to spend quality time with the family, and they are also good for inspiring creativity and improving cognitive development and problem-solving skills.
However, that doesn’t mean that you should buy your child a games console right away without thinking about it because there are a few important things to consider.
The Cost
Before you decide on a console, you need to consider the cost because they don’t come cheap. A brand new PS5 will set you back £450 if you can even get hold of one. A Nintendo Switch is a bit cheaper, but you can still expect to pay upwards of £300. That’s a lot of money to spend when you are trying to balance the family budget. You also have to consider the other gaming gadgets you might want to buy as well. Parents often find themselves in a tough position where they want to make their child happy, but they can’t really afford a console.
If you find yourself in this position, consider an older console. Instead of a brand new PS5, why not pick up a refurbished PS4 instead? You can still play some great games, and it will be much cheaper. Alternatively, you could download an emulator that allows you to play old games on your computer. You can get some great gamecube roms from Gamulator so you can enjoy gaming with the family without the price tag. Even though your child might be disappointed that they haven’t got the latest console, you shouldn’t put yourself in financial trouble to buy a console.
Family-Friendly Games
When buying a console, you need to look at the games that are available. If you go for a Playstation or Xbox, there are some family-friendly games, but more of them are aimed at adults. You may be better off with a Nintendo Switch, which is more geared towards families. Before buying any new games, always check the PEGI rating to make sure that they are suitable for kids.
Parental Controls And Time Limits
Although there are some benefits to playing games with kids, it’s important that you limit their time and use the right parental controls to protect them online. Before you get the console, decide on what limits you are going to put in place and enforce them from the very beginning. If the rules are clear from the outset, you shouldn’t have too many arguments. Make sure that you know how to put parental controls on credit cards too, so the kids can’t accidentally spend all of your money on new games.
As long as you consider these things, you can make the right choice about consoles for your kids.
by Alejandra | May 5, 2021 | Relationships
There has been a murder!
We need your help to catch the killer!
Cauda Equina Champions Charity have teamed up with DBY Interactive to bring you an evening of murder, mystery and lots of interactive fun, whilst raising vital funds for the UK’s official Cauda Equina Syndrome (CES) charity.
The charity’s ambassador, Duncan James has also personally invited everyone along to the evening with a video message informing everyone what lays ahead if they attend, whilst encouraging the raising of awareness for the syndrome which he also suffers with.
Discover the clues, motives, evidence, hear the witness statement, meet the suspects and interrogate them live!
The victim – pop sensation Michael Melody, famous for his number one hits as well as his colourful life style. Melody’s latest album had just dropped and everyone wanted a piece of him. Life was pretty perfect, or so it seemed…
There has been speculation in the press – that although Melody had taken full credit for the album – self labelling it ‘the greatest masterpiece of a true genius ’- Melody was in-fact a fake. But he was quick to squash these rumours and anyone who made them.
Behind closed doors – Michael was known as a monster and a womaniser, who would stop at nothing to get to the top! Had someone had enough? And who is the real genius behind Melody’s work?
Join Agent Glenn and fellow detectives as you trace back the steps of that fateful day. Explore the crime scene, look for clues and motives, discover evidence, and hear a statement from a special guest witness about Melody’s finale hours in the public eye.
After collecting your evidence… you will interrogate the suspects LIVE. Who is telling the truth and who has something to hide?
Claire Thornber, Founder of Cauda Equina Champions Charity comments: “Lockdown has been detrimental for early diagnosis for lots of Cauda Equina Syndrome patients, and our charity has a helpline that can offer support for unsupported patients at this difficult time in their life. Earlier this year, we launched our first ever fundraising campaign ‘1 Million Steps for CES’ and have already raised over £5,000 for our small charity. We want to continue to raise vital funds to support patients of CES, but to also raise more awareness of the unspoken syndrome. Join us for an evening of fun, and help us raise the word for the syndrome by doing so.”
Becky Brooks, Interactive Specialist at DBY Interactive comments: “We are so excited to work with Cauda Equina Champion Charity. Our events are about helping audiences lose themselves in a storyline, the interrogation of suspects, having fun discovering the clues and put together motives. Its a chance to work with friends and family as well as strangers. Discuss possible theories and create some new memories. We really hope the event helps bring people together even though we are apart.”
The murder mystery event ‘Killing The Melody’ will take place on Friday 28 May 2021 at 7pm – tickets are available online for £40 per household (plus £3.71 Eventbrite fee):
http://bit.ly/KILLINGTHEMELODY
See you there as the team and I will be there!!
by Alejandra | May 5, 2021 | Relationships
Love is difficult to find at the best of times. When you’re single and on the hunt for romance, it never seems to materialise. Or you have to wade through a horde of unsuitable matches just praying that you’ll finally land on the perfect partner.
But with a global pandemic in full swing, it’s even more difficult to make a connection. Lockdowns are in place across the globe and social distancing regulations are dictating our every move. When we can’t even hug our parents for fear of spreading a deadly virus, how can we form a romantic attachment with a complete stranger?
Coronavirus has forced us to change our behaviour in many ways to adapt to our new circumstances. The way we work and socialise has transformed in order to keep ourselves and others safe. And there is no reason why dating can’t be the same. Although you might not be able to sidle up to a good looking stranger in a crowded nightclub anytime soon, there are still ways to meet new people in a Covid-safe manner.
To help you on the path to lifelong romance, here are four tips for finding love in a pandemic.
Get online
If you’re used to meeting people at work, events, or nights out, it may be some time before you can get back into the swing of things. But there are ways to put yourself out there without even leaving the house. If you haven’t yet dipped your feet into the world of online dating, there has never been a better time to try.
Apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge are all quick and efficient methods of finding suitable matches, whereas dating websites like Plenty of Fish allow you to really learn about potential partners before speaking to them. Alternatively, there are phone chatlines where you can meet people, some of which (such as https://thechatlinenumbers.com/gay) are tailored to different preferences and identities.
Have virtual dates
Once you have found a potential suitor, it’s time to start planning your first date. It doesn’t matter that you can’t meet in a bar or watch a movie in your local cinema, as tools like Zoom allow you to get together virtually. Get to know each other before you meet in the flesh.
Head outdoors
Despite social distancing guidelines, it’s still safe to meet people outdoors if you are careful. So why not take your date outside and go for a leisurely walk or a coffee in the park? Just make sure to keep your distance and fight the urge to lean in for a hug or kiss at the end.
Be safe
People have different comfort levels about interacting with others at the moment, and you may find that one of you is more cautious than the other. Communicate with each other about your boundaries and make you respect one another’s wishes. If things become serious you may wish to consider taking things further, but be safe at all times and don’t rush in headfirst.
by Alejandra | Apr 27, 2021 | Relationships
As you grow, your ideas, objectives, relationships, and how you deal with emotions change.
Some grew up with caring parents that taught you a lot, others grew with neglecting parents, others without parents for support, but one thing is certain: the emotional state and mental health are important while growing up, and those experiences/facts are important as adults for supporting and start that cycle again with our kids.
How you deal with life might reflect how you grew up, or you can turn those experiences and create another persona to deal with it.
But what about dealing with compliments from other people?
There are 2 types of People
The ones that give a positive compliment. Pure and nurturing with no second intentions other than share love, warmth, and positivity.
The ones that give a compliment to get into a contract, with second and third intentions, normally bad motives to take you somewhere. The so-called “careless” and without meaning, a cold fake compliment.
This last one we will take out of our conversation, as we don’t like negative and manipulative people.
Let’s focus on positive people.
The Good Compliment
What is a compliment: A compliment is something that a person can say to you, either a family member, a friend, a colleague, a partner, that means to cherish you, to brighten your day, to say that you did OK or great, that you mean something for that person.
A compliment is one of the most positive things that you can say to a person. You don’t need to be a poet to say a compliment. Something a symbol, even an emoji can reflect that.
- A compliment is praise. For example, when raising kids, the best thing you can do to them is praising them. Invert a negative tantrum into a praise on their qualities:
Your son is kicking in because his friend is playing with a toy he wants, and he wants to take the toy for the friend’s hand. Explain that we need to share with friends. Sharing is caring. Explain to him that you also share several other things with him because you love him, and he can love his friend by sharing. His friend will eventually give the toy back because he shares it too. When he shares and stops the tantrum, say “well done, you did well”. That is praising. You’ve taught him that sharing is caring while praising/giving a compliment to him.
In adulthood is exactly the same. Sharing is Caring!
Example 2:
- Your friend says she feels overwhelmed with something. You notice by the expressions, (sometimes we know people for their traits right?), the voice tone, and even the way people sit or walk (key point to look – is in the shoulders position). You ask what is the matter. Your friend replies that she can’t do something, a task. First ask where you can help, if you don’t have that power, support the person’s motivation. Tell her, based on what you know, that she can do it, and you can help in the best you can:
You are the best person to do this. I believe in you and can help you. Let me help and see where the error/where you stumped. Everything in life has a solution. There are always 2 to 3 ways of doing things in a positive way. As long as we face the challenge with all the consequences. As soon as you “understand” that consequences, either good or bad, have a meaning, a lesson, life will be easier.
In here you taught something, gave a praise, a compliment, and the pure truth in a positive way.
The Non-Compliment People
There are people that don’t like compliments. This doesn’t mean that these people are bad. What it really means is that their barrier is too high to let any good positive compliment enter. This also means they have things to take care of mentally and emotionally. Maybe a bad experience (s), a bad childhood or growing up, insecurities… or simply don’t know how to reply to a compliment.
Because let’s face it:
Everyone NEEDS a compliment! Our Ego is born with us, and also depends on you how to deal with our ego. But as in everything in life, the Yin and Yang: we need an Ego, to truly understand who we are. What you make with it, how you grow it, a positive or a negative Ego, is entirely up to you.
How to Compliment Someone
Not only depends on what relation you have with the person, but depends also on how well you know her, and can be through many ways:
- A positive talk (like example 1 or 2)
- If you’re not good with words, can be with what is your best way of demonstrating, like sharing a pic with them, a meme to make them laugh,
- Make them laugh!
- A song with a special lyric
- An old photo
- Something you’ve found online that made you remember that person or an experience/secret joke
- A special place
- A book quote reflecting what you think
- Or simply say with no fear of rejection what you honestly think.
And so much more can be given as a positive example.
Remember Sharing is Caring, but also understand one thing:
If people who you share and care won’t share with you back for the thousandth time, is not caring for you either. And not only our Ego suffers and our self-care as well. Because everyone needs a compliment if they don’t share they don’t care… and we should only have around us positive people that love us for who we are and what we are.
Images from Pixabay
