Relationships, whether romantic or rooted in years of friendship, shape a large part of how we experience life. They give us memories, identity, and a sense of belonging, which is why their endings can feel so disorienting. Many people assume that time alone will fix everything, yet the reality is more complex. Moving forward requires understanding what the experience meant, what it changed, and how it continues to affect you.
When something meaningful ends, it is not just about loss. It is also about adjustment, reflection, and learning how to carry those memories without letting them define your present. The process is rarely immediate or straightforward, but it can lead to a clearer sense of self and stronger emotional resilience. The ideas explored here focus on what it actually takes to move on healthily and realistically.
Set it Free
Life is all about setting us free. Some are harder than others, some are easier, but easy won’t make you make memories and remember that special ‘lesson”.
Nowadays, and with people starting to speak their minds, letting others know our feelings or what actually happens to us, won’t make us weaker.
If you feel that not letting people know what you feel is a weakness, then sorry to tell you, but you are wrong! And because the world has pre-made an “imposed rule” that our feelings are something to be ashamed of, our mentality is moulded to this society, which is deteriorating, and people, unfortunately, have started to collapse.
Mental illnesses, depression, and anxiety that lead to suicide are in the news every single day. So something is wrong, isn’t it?
Set free what you feel. Tell the truth. Even if the truth hurts one or both parties, tell the truth. Because Truth will set you Free.
Lessons
Life brings you lessons. If you don’t think it does, then you are not having the school of life. Lessons, either bad or good, are things we should keep in a corner of our mind for a “rainy day”. A lesson is when something has marked your character, and you have learned something.
As everything in this life, the percentage of something happening to you in the exact way of that “lesson”, well… let’s say chances are 99% sure it will happen again. And when that happens… You’re ready for that.
And in that moment, you understand that you have learned that lesson!
Let it Go
Somethings are worth fighting for. But some things are not. Either in love or in friendship.
When a relationship doesn’t work, when all has been done to make it work, when one part is making the effort, and the other is not – It’s time to end it.
Walk away. Don’t linger in feelings that are not the same as they were in the past. Everyone has a time and space, and everyone is entitled to their opinion and privacy when dealing with something.
Some people prefer to be straight up front and say: “We need to talk. I just don’t feel I am happy”… or “I just don’t think we are the same” or even “I just don’t think we have the same prospects for the future, and I noticed we aren’t the same”. These types of people are called Frontal people. They aren’t blunt. They aren’t just cynical. Normally, the connection with these people will be rekindled after some years.
Another type of people is those who prefer to just disconnect and let go. They observe, shut up (sometimes they do try and talk about it, but when they see it’s not worth it, they stop talking), and go. Normally, people call them “fake”, I call them: The ones that never came back. They tried, they stopped believing, and they will go quietly, and with these guys, you will get the lesson of your life, and you will miss them. These are just 2 types of the many types of people out there.
Learn to let it go. Life is too short to linger in something that is not going to develop into the love of your life or a friendship that has grown cold, because life goes different ways. And sometimes it’s just like that. No one’s fault, only the world is changing, and we grow up.
Give Space
The space I am talking about is not that kind of space to rekindle or rebound in a month. Give proper space for you and your thoughts, for them and their thoughts.
From months to years, just have your own space and let them be.
I have a motto in life, since I can remember, that: Anything that is for you, will come to you.
If you force something, it won’t be natural, and it can actually make a very ugly turn. Are you grieving and suffering? It’s a lesson. Seems harsh, doesn’t it? But you will get over it, even if it takes a while, but you will.
It’s our nature as humans to survive, and you will, they will, the sky will be blue again. Just give and claim your space, your sanctuary of sanity.
Grieve, cry, scream, whatever that will make you feel, memories or situations. You will get there, and you will grow.
Why me?
Because there are at least 7.6 billion people in this world, and ALL of them, richer or poorer, will have the same feeling: Love, friendship, smile, laugh, cry, scream, hate, shame, heartbroken, pain, etc. We are humans, and our lives are a trial-and-error process. That is why it is so important to learn the lessons I spoke about before.
Why? Well… If you didn’t learn your lesson, then you are exactly asking “why me?”
Also, because I believe, heck, I live in a life where karma rules. When you learn your lessons and understand karma (not religiously connected, here on Alejandra’s, we are true believers of Love and Free minds), you will see that your/their actions have consequences, and depending on what you/they do/did, it will send you a lesson either sooner than you think, or when they are least expected. Again Lessons.
We are humans. We are not 100% good or bad. We make the angels and devils on our shoulders. It’s called Thoughts and common sense.
A path is drawn by you, your destiny will lead you to it, but our destiny is also made by us.
Moving Forward Without Losing Yourself
Letting go is not about forgetting what happened or pretending it did not matter. It is about recognising that not everything is meant to last and that growth often comes from change rather than stability. The experiences you carry, both good and difficult, shape how you approach future relationships and decisions, but they do not have to limit you.
As time passes, what once felt overwhelming becomes part of your understanding rather than something that controls you. The key is to allow space for that transition, without forcing closure or holding on to what no longer fits your life. When you begin to accept that endings are part of the process, it becomes easier to move forward with clarity, build new connections, and create experiences that reflect who you are now, not just who you were before.
Your friend stopped to talk to you? Well, it can happen. Life gives a lot of turns, and maybe the time of that friendship reached the final line.
When you wake up in the morning, ask: “What happens now?”, breathe, and think that there are at least billions out there for you to trust, there are people who love you and will always have your back.
Life doesn’t end when a lover leaves you; when you break someone’s heart, your friend from 25 years don’t speak to you anymore, a friend moves to the other side of the globe. People change and grow. Pick up the phone and call them, pick up your keys, and meet them. Socialize, live life!
You are what you make out of yourself. Your memories will always be there. Just make sure you keep the good ones in a happy place near your heart. The “bad” ones are called experience in life… For me, I simply call them Lessons.
Images Pixabay