It’s never a good feeling to think your partner is cheating. It impacts not only your relationship but your self-esteem as well.
Before you confront and accuse your significant other (SO), here’s what you should do.
Make A List
Consider this your pros and cons list. The pros would be why the positive signs that your SO isn’t cheating, and the cons can be all of the red flags you’re noticing. Are they gone at mysterious hours of the night and won’t pick up your phone call during the day? Are you catching them in a lie?
These are all things to add to the cons list. Are your concerns serious enough to talk to your partner about it?
Jonathan Sprinkles, a connection coach and motivational speaker, wants you to think twice before acting. “Before you take any action, you need first to do a self-assessment and make sure you aren’t being petty or overly sensitive.
In situations such as these, your feelings can betray you if you don’t keep them in check.”
Reach Out To Your Friends
Use this as a way to get a second opinion and maybe they can validate why you feel your SO is being unfaithful.
You can bring up your pros and cons list and have them weigh in. As your friends, they should be upfront and honest and will tell you if you’re paranoid or if something is going on.
If they suspect something is going on, they can give you advice on how to approach the situation.
Become A Detective
Consider becoming a detective in your relationship. If your SO is hanging out with people that you’re unsure of, do some digging.
GoLookUp is the most effective way on how to catch a cheater. GoLookUp is an online information search engine that has the ability to look up background checks, email addresses, unclaimed money, arrest records, and much more.
If something doesn’t check out, do some research on the site and see what you can find. If everything adds up, then that’s a good sign. If you catch your partner in a lie, you have proof to back it up.
Let Your SO Know You Need To Talk
Instead of immediately accusing them of their potential actions, let them know you need to talk about some things in your relationship.
Even if they are cheating, they should want to discuss how you’re feeling and what’s on your mind as well. They may think you already know something is going on. At some point, you need to address it.
Talk to Your Partner in a Comfortable Setting
Whether this is in your living room or somewhere else private, make sure you both feel comfortable. A public setting such as a restaurant may not be the best idea in case things start to go south.
Make sure to remain calm and collected, although that may be difficult in a situation like this. Emotions may run high but do your best.
Be sure to tell them your thoughts and why you think they could be cheating. Revert back to that pros and cons list.
If it turns out that your feelings were, in fact, validated and your partner is cheating, first know that you should not blame yourself, as this isn’t your fault and has nothing to do with you. Take some time to yourself so you can decide if this relationship is worth saving or not.
While you take this time to yourself, try to end communication between you and your SO so you can think clearly, and avoid any physical interaction as well.
Take this time to treat yourself to that new purse you’ve been eyeing at the mall, or even searching into “hemp cigarettes CBD.” CBD is a healthy, all-natural way to wind down during a stressful time.
Relax for a little and cope with your feelings before acting on the next step.