Experiencing any sort of turmoil is tough on us. When we are trying to be a good parent, despite external issues for singers to the brink of insanity, it is tough.
When you are trying to protect your children from external stresses you begin to neglect yourself. And when you are experiencing a tough time, and it’s proving so hard to be a good parent, what does it really take?
Talk About It to the Kids, but Do It Appropriately
The fact of the matter is, when there is something difficult going on in our lives, our children are going to feel the repercussions in one way or another. If you and your partner have split up, and the divorce lawyers are in full flow, your children are going to feel some sense of rejection. It’s going to be hard on you because of everything that’s going on, but it’s far better for you to speak to your children in an appropriate manner.
It’s okay to speak about feelings of heartbreak, but we have to remember their developmental age. Children are naturally inquisitive, and they will notice if something is untoward. And something as earth-shattering as a breakup is going to make them feel a lot worse than you think. Don’t try to pull the wool over their eyes.
Embrace the Lessons
When we go through tough times, it’s so easy to focus on the negative because it’s bad. It’s unbearable. And when we go through tough times in life, it is always easy to be distracted by all the bad things. But it’s also important to take note of the lessons that it is giving us. And this is something that we can work through with our children. The word for “crisis” in Chinese is also the same word as “opportunity.” And it’s these little moments that we can use as lessons. That’s not to say that we should purely focus on the lessons that it’s teaching us, and completely avoid the grieving aspects, because this is unhealthy.
But whatever the lesson is, you need to work as hard as you can to receive the lesson. This stops us from making the same mistake again, but it’s also setting a good example for the children.
Remember To Give Yourself a Break
Whenever we experience tough times, it can be tough to be the parent that we were before it happened. And when we’re going through something like grief, or a breakup, we’ve got to remember the importance of having a minute away. When we experience something like a breakup, we can feel physical pain. This is because studies have shown that the feeling of rejection activates some of the same regions in the brain that experience physical pain. And this could be the realisation you need to give yourself a break.
Sometimes, we can’t power through. And it’s important to remember that we’re not superhuman. If you need to take time away to decompress, there is nothing wrong with putting the children in front of the television. Self-care will always help.
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