Shoutykid Is Back! How Harry Riddles Mega-Massively Broke the School by Simon Mayle

The funniest kid in fiction is back!

Hi there,
My name is Harry Riddles, and I live with my mum, my dad and my EVIL sister Charlotte. But now my mum is having TWINS so either me or Charlotte are gonna lose our bedroom.
ALSO, Dad’s moaning that I should do more sport and not be just a gamer (which shows what he knows cos I’m actually the BEST gamer World of Zombies has ever seen). But I’ve joined the school football team to keep him happy although if we win anything it will be a miracle cos we suck. I’ve written to some stars of the football world to see if they wanna help out, and also a bunch of people who might take Charlotte off our hands – oh and Brad Pitt’s wife to see if she wants to adopt a couple more kids, but who knows if they will write back. We’ll see. Good luck and have fun.”
Harry Riddles

Letter to Prince George:

Dear Prince George,
Doesn’t it suck when your mum is about to have a new baby and everyone’s like, “Oh, Congratulations! I’m SO happy for you guys?” and you’re thinking, “Why? I might have to share my bedroom with a baby.”  And, “What if they like this new kid more than ME?”  That would suck, right?  OK, they probably won’t and, anyway, you still get to be King one day so Ha! I’m never going to be a King in my house, but when the twins come they will learn that I RULE at X-Box!
Good luck and have fun.
Harry Riddles

P. S. Say hi to the Queen from me.

Letter to David Cameron,Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband:

Dear David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband, hi there!
Do you guys ever get nervous when you have to give a speech?  I’m doing a talk at my school about this game I built called Zombie Show Jumping – which, BTW, is truly AWESOME.  But what if I CLAM UP and forget what I have to say and everybody just starts laughing at me?  Or I have to go to the toilet part way through? Has that ever happened to you?  If you have any great tips on how to deal, please GBTM soon.
Good luck and have fun”

Harry Riddles

Letter to David Beckham:

Dear David Beckham, England’s Greatest Dad and Footballer, hi there
My mum said if there’s one player in the whole of England who could help turn me and my school team from a bunch of losers into the best team in the South-West, it would be you.
I told my mum that’s not going to happen because you don’t live in Cornwall, but my mum said you LOVE Cornwall. So that gave me a great idea!! Why don’t you move your family down here and live your CORNISH DREAM?!! Then you could send your kids to MY school. I think Cruz is about my age, and if he’s anything like you, I can tell Mr Phillips we have some real talent on the way and maybe – JUST MAYBE – we won’t get CRUSHED in the first round of the cup. That’s all I have to say.
Good luck and have fun and GBTM soon!
Harry Riddles

Letter to Sir Alex Ferguson:

Dear Sir Alex Ferguson, the greatest football manager of all time, hi there –
I know you’ve won more trophies than any other manager has EVER won in British history, but there’s one you missed – The South-West Schools’ Cup! How would you like to help bring this home to my school, Mount Joseph’s? Before you say yes, I should warn you that we really suck at football, but if you fancy a new challenge and you’re getting bored of being retired, let me know.
Good luck and have fun.”
Harry Riddles

Thank you to Harper and Collins


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